Smashing! (emosasquatch) wrote in kr_sporks,
Smashing!
emosasquatch
kr_sporks

Needs Moar Zombies [Part one of two]

Sporker: emosasquatch
Title: Late Dawns... (If this fic was inspired by that song, where the hell are the zombies?)
Author
deadbbekickball
Rating: Only three this time-- badly-written and the grammar makes baby Jesus cry, but the content isn't so bad and it's fairly short.
Characters: Frank and Gerard with a side of Ray (for about five seconds.)
Annoying Traits: Cliches abound, Frank calling Gerard "Skippy," and the use of beer pong for evil. Also Gerard waxing purple poetry, though I find this to be somewhat IC.
Sporker's Comments: Honestly, content-wise, this would be a fairly cute little fic. Buuut, sadly, the grammar and poor execution ruined any chance it had. Shame, really.


Sample:



*Gerard and Frank arrive outside of a theater, confused and rumpled.*
Frank: The fuck is this? *picks up a script off of the ground and scans the inside of the cover* ... huh.
Gerard: What?
Frank: Ever seen Mystery Science Theater 3000?
Gerard: ... no?
Frank: Then this oughta be a learning experience.
Gerard: ... what?
Frank: Just... c'mon, let's go in and grab some seats.

Gerard's POV:

Frank: Oh, this is gonna be fun. I can tell already.

New Year's eve, the night of celebrating the good times the past year has held and the good times the next year will bring. A night of partying with your friends and being with your "significant other".

Frank: A night of playing beer pong on your front yard with a high school cheerleader...
Gerard: *suspicious glance*
Frank: What? Look, you have your New Year's party and I'll have mine.

Unfortunately, I was with neither at the moment. Especially the "significant other" part.

Gerard: ... except for, y'know, my wife. Who I'm married to.
Frank: *pats comfortingly*

Through the blasting of music and crowds of people, I could see the love of my life.

Gerard: Lindsey?!

He was laughing about something with my best friends.

Gerard: Motherfucker!

His smile made me face glow, and

Frank: *as Gerard* Brought out my secret pirate lineage.
Gerard: Arr, ye make me barnacles all a-quiver!
Frank: ... yeah, please never say that to me again.

made the room light up. His hazel eyes

Frank: Wait, hang on, are they talking about me? Last I checked, my eyes weren't hazel...
Gerard: ... what the hell color are they, anyway?
Frank: The color of your fear.

pierced the room with pure happiness, and he had me hypnotized. I couldn't keep my eyes, or mind, off of Frank Iero.

Frank: Fuck, it is me.
Gerard: You don't... Google your name much, do you?

He had me cast under a spell, and no one knew the counter spell to cast.

Gerard: Quick, roll a d20 and see if I can counter!
Frank: *rolls a die* ... nope, just missed.
Gerard: Fuck.

In my head, I told myself how incredibly cliche this whole this was.

Frank: *as Gerard* And I was absolutely right!

But I just couldn't shake it. There was other way to describe the feelings I felt whenever I so much as thought about Frank Iero.

Frank: "Golly gee, I sure do like that Frankie" would suffice.
Gerard: ... that's... not a whole lot of an improvement, Frank.

I got snapped out of my thought when I realized that he was beelining my way, a curious look plastered on his face.

Frank: *as himself* What the fuck is on that dude's head?
Gerard: Hey. >: (

"Shit," I mumbled under my breath while trying to appear casual. I sipped on my coca cola until he was dead center in front of me.

Gerard: Right, because sitting there and pointedly ignoring somebody who's walking right towards you and watching you isn't suspicious-looking at all.

"Hey Gee, what's going on?" he asked me.

"Just watching the life of the party," I replied, smiling at him.

Frank: Whoa, I didn't see Ray come in...
Gerard: *bops* Be nice.

He laughed, god how I love his laugh,

Gerard: Squeaky little giggles are a huge turn on, you gotta understand.
Frank: Hey. >: (

"Okay, but why aren't you with anyone else?"

"Cause there's no one to be with," I told him, trying to hide my lie by sipping my soda some more.

Frank: Ooh, that's deep, G. And good job drowning your sorrows in cola there.
Gerard: It works for Mikey.

"Well, you could be with me," he said, grinning.

Can he read my mind, or what? Jeeze! "But you're straight, Frankie."

Frank: NAH DURR.

He looked at me curiously, "uhh... I meant hang out, Gee."

Gerard: *as Frank* And by "hang out," I mean--
Frank: School you at Guitar Hero, right?! Right!

"Right, I know. Sorry," I answered, my mind catching up to my mouth,

Frank: *as Gerard* But my eyes were neck and neck with my toes! It was a photo finish!

"I was spacing out. I don't know what I was-."

Frank put his hand on my shoulder, "calm down there, Skippy.

Gerard: *snort*
Frank: *aghast* I don't call anybody Skippy unless they happen to be made of a particular brand of peanut butter and in a jar.

Let's go outside, it's loud as fuck in here. I can't really hear what you're saying."

I nod and we both make our way outside, away from all the rowdy kids and loud music.

Frank: Damn kids with their fast cars and rap music!

On the lawn, the pulse of the music was making the house shake and kids were making out like no tomorrow, but I wasn't paying attention to any of it. Really, I wasn't.

Frank: *as Gerard* Actually, that's a lie. I had a camera in my back pocket recording all of it to share with Cortez in my basement later.
Gerard: *horrified*

All I could think about, as we took that short walk, was how much I fucked up and let my mouth slip. "So, you can go back in there Frank," I told him, "I kind of stole everyone's entertainment."

Frank: If everybody was making out, I really doubt I was the only entertainment.

"Nah, it's cool. I was running out of my good material anyway,"

Frank: *as himself* I was about to have to start using that shitty, cheap satin from Wal*Mart, and you just know how that stuff wrinkles.

we both chuckled slightly. "Plus, I'd rather hang out with you. I don't have to put on any sort of act."

"You shouldn't have to put on an act Frank, that's ridiculous," I said sincerely.

Gerard: *points* Look, that sounds like the real me!
Frank: Aw!
*They hug in a rare moment of canon*

He smiled slightly and it was silent for a few moments.

Frank: ... and then the HOUSE EXPLODED IN AN UNHOLY FIREBALL OF DEATH.

We both treaded in the awkward air before he spoke up again, "Gee, why'd you say what you did earlier?"

Gerard: Gee, Frankie, I just don't know.

I sat there for a second, thinking about what I was going to say and carefully chose my words. "Frankie, I said that because-," I got interrupted my our fro of a friend, Ray.

Frank: AHAHAHAHAHAHA RAY'S NOTHING BUT A FRO.
Gerard: It's Cousin It!

"Hey Frankie-boy!

Frank: *twitch*
Gerard: Why is Ray talking like somebody's annoying middle-aged uncle?

Beerpong? Everyone wants to play the champ!" He shouted, enthusiastically.

Frank: See, what'd I say?
Gerard: Except, instead of a cheerleader, you get Ray.
Frank: ... *shrugs* I can roll with that.

"Hang on Ray, I'll be there in a second," then he turned back to me, "what were you going to say?"

Gerard: *as himself* The shift key touched me in a place or way that made me uncomfortable!
Frank: That's no good!

"Nevermind, Frank. Go have fun, we'll talk later.

Gerard: I'll be over here searching for my missing quotation marks.

He nodded, "Alright Gee, but don't hold out on me man. You're my best friend, let me know when soemthing is going on. Got it?"

Gerard: Can I have that again, but with more spellcheck?
Frank: Three grammar jokes in a row and it doesn't look likely to stop here, kids.

"Yeah, Frank," I sighed, "I got it. Go back in there, they're all waiting for you." He smiled genuinely and left to go play with our friends.

Frank: Jesus, what are we, five?
Gerard: Mommy, can I go out and play with Ray today?
Frank: Okay, but no cheerleaders and beer pong and be back by lunch time!

"I really need to get a life and stop moping..." I mumbled to myself,

Gerard: *defensively* I do too have a life. It's called My Chemical Romance.
Frank: ... but it doesn't stop you from moping.
Gerard: *frown*

while standing up to go find something to do.

Frank: Why don't you just, y'know, leave the fucking party?
Gerard: Because that makes too much sense.




Soon to come: Part two, which features soap opera amounts of DRAMA. :O
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