Unaccustomed as I am to pubic spanking... (cool_rain_kiss) wrote in kr_sporks,
Unaccustomed as I am to pubic spanking...
cool_rain_kiss
kr_sporks

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

Sporking Three: Kingdom Hearts

*Please note: this is my very first sporking; I'm simply moving it to this comm. These things happen, folks.


Sporker: cool_rain_kiss
Title: Every Star
Author: Glomping Kawaii
Rating: One for the atrocious grammar, and one for the horrible OOC.

Characters: Prince Sora and Captain Riku
Annoying Traits: For some reason, "Captain Riku" cracks me up, but it's not so much annoying. Sora being so damned feminine, though, is another story. And, God, if only OOC were an ability for these characters...
Sporker's Comments: At first glance, taking in the paragraphing and whatnot, I was going to say this fic had okay grammar. But, it doesn't. I don't think the author knows what a comma is, and run-ons... Oh, the run-ons! Other than that, this fic is pretty tame. It's yaoi, but definitely no hot boy buttsecks or anything. ::sigh:: If only people could write good slash...

Sporking:

In the same run-down theater as usual, the screen flickers on to the dismay of the four usual viewers.

Sora: ::munches popcorn dejectedly:: Well. At least we get food this time, so it can't be all bad, right?
Kairi: Well...
Sora: ...right?
Kairi: I can safely say it's not as bad as the Vore fic. Definitely not.
Riku: There's a "but" coming. I just know it.
Kairi: But... well... Oh, just eat your popcorn.

Every Star
Written
by Glomping Kawaii

In a far away land lived a magical kingdom.

Axel: How quaint.
Riku: My God, it's Disneyland.
Kairi: COMMA. COMMA AFTER INTRODUCTORY PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE.

Everything was beautiful about it flowers blooming everywhere, pink blossom trees in full bloom looked wonderfully beautiful, woods full of oak trees made the air so fresh and just a short walk away lay a ocean that the young Prince Sora loved to visit.

Kairi: Are we in Stepford, Connecticut?
Sora: Hey, look! I'm royalty!
Axel: ::snorts:: A royal pain in the ass.
Sora: Yeah, well... you smell.

This was the castle of Sleepy Willow. King Van ruled over it for many years and he soon settled down with a wife

Sora: I sense heterosexuality afoot!
Kairi: ::flips ahead:: Yeeeaaaah, about that. Don't get your hopes up.
Sora: ::slumps in seat:: Damnit.

and they where blessed with a baby boy who was as lovely as a blooming rose when he was born. Though now that he was thirteen as of today things where about to change dramatically in his short life.

Sora

Axel: Wait. So, YOU'RE the "blooming rose"? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sora: Shut up!

stared out the French doors that lead to his balcony that over looked the ocean. Sora seemed to have a longing look in his eyes today for him was a whole new chapter. Today he turn thirteen

Axel: ::spittake:: THIRTEEN?! ::urgently grabs script from Kairi:: Gimme that! ::flips pages:: Please no buttsex, please no buttsex...
Sora and Riku: ::join in chant::

today he will be expected to be courted

All: ::look at Sora and Kairi suspiciously::
Kairi: I can safely say I'm not in this story, thanks. ::glances at Riku and Sora::
Riku and Sora: Shit.

Sora doesn't want plans, goshdarnit! He just wants to, ah, "swing his arms in the air like he's flying." So, his father comes in the room.

“Good morning my dear boy” said King Van in a cheerful voice.

Kairi: ::twitches:: Comma...
Riku: Kairi, it... just gets worse from here.

“Morning Father” was Sora's reply as his father walked over to him looking out the French doors.

Axel: Why're the doors always French? I'd like to see some Grade-A Czechoslovakian doors just once.

“The tides are high today my dear son” Spoke King Van as he stared out into the ocean the waves where indeed might high today

Axel: They usually remain might low. It's Neptune's off day, you know.

dark clouds where even rolling in and thunder could be heard roaring.

“Yes looks like there will be a storm today father” Sora spoke in his polite voice Sora did love the rain but storms frightened him.

Axel: Awwww, is the wittle baby Sora scawred? ::pinches Sora's cheek::
Sora: ::summons Keyblade::

“You're mother

Riku: Sora! Why didn't you tell me you're your father's mother?!
Sora: Because I didn't know! But, now that I do... ::gazes afar::
Axel: Kids, incest is bad for the brain.

and I hope we don't put to much pressure on you” King Van said as he turned around to face his son his eyes showing worry.

Sora just smiled and shook his head. “Thats Ridiculous I'm just fine” Sora said though he wished he was allowed more freedom he wished he could see more of the world but that was just unfit for a prince.

Kairi: Don't... princes usually... travel to foreign lands to speak on behalf of their fathers and, you know, settle scores and things?
Riku: Kairi, you're acting like badfic authors actually think about details like that.

His father gave a wary sigh as he walked to the door “I'm glad my son” was all he said as he left.

Sora: ::snorts:: Well, he's easily persuaded.

Sora sat on his bed and looked up to his ceiling angels and mystical things where painted on it Sora's older brother by a year had painted it for him.

All: ::stare::
Axel: Exactly what is that sentence supposed to be saying?

How he missed Roxas.

All: ...
Axel: ::spittake:: HUHWHAT?! Roxas?!
Sora: Awww, do you miss your wittle uke, Axel?
Axel: ::chakrams appear:: You know I'm not above murder. ::glowers mutinously::
Sora: ::flounces:: You started it.

Roxas was away in another country he was rebellious and a trouble maker but they all still loved him.

Kairi: Ooohhh, he's had many indiscretions in the papers before.
Axel: Someone's been watching The Prince and Me one too many times.
Riku: Axel, how do you know about that movie?

But because of Roxas, Sora made it his job to be the good child because it hurt his parents to think they had two of them though at times Sora did wish he could break free for awhile.

Sora: We're breaking free! We're soaring! Flying! There's not a star in heav-- what?
All: ::stare::
Sora: I was, ahem... I was channeling Demyx. Yeah.

Sora decided to go for a walk down by the shore even though the wind was strong today just called him to come out side.

Riku: ::as wind:: Sora, Sooooorrrraaaaa. Come to meeeeee.
Kairi: That's ironic.
Sora: What?
Kairi: Erm... nevermind.

Sora walked along the shore he had lifted his robes up to his knees

Axel: You're wearing robes? Nothing but... robes? Holy shit, Sora's effeminate!
Sora: I am not!
Riku: Are you sure?
Sora: I'm sure! I'm tons of male! ::blushes, slyly glancing at Kairi::
Axel and Riku: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sora gets wet. Sora sees a ship. Sora gets lost and scared. The author channels ATC with a metaphor. Sora gets swept out to sea, oh noes!

He became more frightened thinking he would drowned

Kairi: "Thinking... he would... drowned..."
Sora: Don't question it.

in the rough waves the water was already up to his chest Sora tried to swim but a giant wave swallowed him whole and under he went. Everything was calm under water nothing could be heard soon he fell unconscious the water was just to cold and he couldn't hold his breath much longer.

Axel: So, then Ariel rushed up and saved him and sang to him and stuff.
Riku: Dude, wrong movie.
Kairi: If this were made into a movie, I think I'd just cry.
Axel: But I thought only thoughts of Sora made you cry?
Sora and Kairi: ::sink further into seats in humiliation::

“Argh Captin' I think we hit somtin” said a plump old pirate.

Sora: SMEE?!

A slivered haired man

Riku: Uh-oh...

with stunning green eyes

Riku: Oh, good. It's not me.

looked over the row boat to see a body floating curious the Captain pulled the body into the boat something sparkled in the Captain's eyes.

Sora: Riku, I never knew you lusted after dead guys.
Axel: Now that's just plain creepy.
::mysterious strains of "Even in Death" by Evanescence begin to play in the theatre::
Kairi: Great, we get a soundtrack.
Axel: I'm not afraid to come up there, Cid! ::shakes fist::
Cid: Drink your golldanged tea and sit down!

The plump old pirate look over his Captain's shoulder “Ye think he's dead?”. The Captain took off his coat and warped it around the small body as he looked over to his crew

“Keep rowing” Said the slivered haired Capitan in a cold voice. The other in fear that his head would be taken quickly obeyed.

Axel: So, it's just you and this Smee-wannabee controlling the whole ship, Riku?
Riku: I told you, it's not me. I don't have green eyes.
Axel: Ha! You think THAT will save you?
Sora: You sure they're not green?
Riku: Well, they're not green-green.
Kairi: It said "crew" just a few sentences back, Axel, in answer to your question.
Axel: ... shut up. You're only mentioning this because the sporker didn't notice it the first time through and didn't want to erase the original joke.
Kairi: We're breaching the fourth wall again...

Once they reached the ship they where pulled up the crew surrounded the captain and what he held. Whispers broke out among the pirates the Captain just pushed past them all and went in his cabin locking the door behind him.

Sora and Riku: ::blanches::
Kairi: Locked doors do not bode well...

He lay the body on the bed the Captain ran his fingers along the high cheek bones and down to the jaw of the mysterious person. They where still cold so the Captain started to undress the other realizing it was a boy.

Axel: Damn, kid, you really are effeminate if he had to strip you to tell.
Sora: Yeeaaaah, I'm not worried about that right now. In fact, I haven't gotten past the word "undress."
Riku: Oh, I thought I was the only one. ::stares at screen in horror::

Once the boy was fully undressed the Captain admired the flawless smooth skin the boy had something tingled inside him as he covered the boy with blankets.

Axel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sora: What's so funny?!
Axel: Eh... nothing. I'm just glad it's not me being Greedy McLuster for once.
Riku: I will punch you in the throat.
Sora: And I'll shoot you in the back of the head.
Kairi: With a BB gun!

The Captain wonder who the boy was he had heard there was a beautiful prince in Sleepy Willow but this couldn't possibly be him could it?

Mumbling could be heard as the boy stirred in his sleep.

Sora: Make that "Grumbled obscenities over the OOC could be heard."

The Captain looked at the boys closed eyes waiting to see them open and as they did he was welcomed with stunning sapphire eyes

Sora: ::headdesks:: Will the fangirls EVER learn?
Axel: Sticks and stones will break bones...
Riku: ...and eye sockets, if they're shoved in there.
Kairi: Okay, that was just bad. ::scrumages around for Lamedar::

and the Captains breath was taken away. He had found his treasure.

Riku: Yes, Sora, you're my treasure.
Sora: ::slaps him::
Riku: What the hell was that for?!
Sora: I'm slapping the stupid out of you. Friends don't let friends go OOC.

“Who are you?”

Axel: What you say?
Riku: Move out every 'ZIG'!
Axel: Aye-aye, Cap'n!

The boy said in a hoarse voice as he looked at the other.

“I'm Capitan Riku and you are?” Said the Captain.

The boy stared at him for a few moments going over his thoughts did he say Captain? Where am I? Didn't I drown?

Sora: ::turns to Riku with quivering features:: Are you God?

The boy was so confused that his head started to hurt and Captain Riku never failed to notice.

“Are you alright would you like some soup?” Said Captain Riku as he laid a hand on the boys shoulder.

“Yes please...I'm Sora” Said the boy known as Sora soon he realized that he was naked panic started to rise in Sora did this man do anything to him?

Axel: Not yet, but I wager he's about to whip out the real reason why he's called Captain.
Riku and Sora: ::smacks him::
Kairi: Wait... Axel, how would you know that's why he's called Captain?

Sora starts to cry like the tons of male he is, and Riku leaves the room.

Riku walked a crossed his deck and then down the stares where the sailors ate there was another floor where there where rooms that was where the crew slept and one more where storage was held with goods so all in all the ship had 4 floors deck, lunch room, sleeping rooms, and storage Captain Riku was not a pirate you would want to cross he was dangerous and a pirate of course but there where many things people didn't know about him even his crew knew little of him too!

Kairi: Was that really all one sentence?
All: ::blank stares:: Yup.

There where many Story's of Captain Riku some with him being a cold blooded murder, others of him being a notorious thief which was true, And he also had a reputation for stealing the young hearts of many, and of course girls swooned over his good looks. He was about six foot 3, medium sliver hair, coco colored skin and amazing emerald eyes.

Riku: ::scratches head and glances at himself:: You lost me after the "six foot 3."
Sora: They said you have silver hair, though...
Kairi: No, they said he had "sliver" hair.
Axel: Your hair is made of broken glass?

Once Riku walked in where the crew was eating all eyes where on him lots of them getting up and asking who the brunette was and other questions. Riku simply sighed and said “I need some soup and he'll be staying with us from now on” was Riku's statement with a sharp tone warning others not to go near him.

Axel: ::as Riku:: The buttsex is all mine! ALL MINE! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Riku sat in a corner chair waiting for the soup. There was something about Sora that Riku was attracted to and when Riku wanted something no one else got it.

Axel: --AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sora and Riku: STOP IT! ::smacks harder::

One of the sailors walked up to him and handed him the warm tomato soup Riku just nodded his head and walked back up to the deck.

Sora wakes up and describes the beautiful cabin. Blah, blah, blah.

It was small and cozy to Sora he wrapped the sheets tight around his small body as he walked over to the window that was closed by curtains Sora took his small hands and pulled the curtains back and gasped in surprise.

Sora: Why am I always described as "small"? I mean, really.
Riku: Well, Sora...
Sora: I'm not small!
Axel: ::snickers:: Prove it.

Sora stared into a endless ocean that went on as the eye could see stars hung over the sky with dark clouds covering a crescent moon. It was beautiful. But where was he?

Click.

Axel: Oh, so you're in that new movie with Adam Sandler? Dude, what's he like?

Sora turned around to see Captain Riku standing there Sora blushed and warped the covers around him tighter The soft candle lit glow made Sora look soft and flawless.
Riku looked down and tried not to blush. A Pirate was not supposed to blush nor a Capitan! It was to unfit! Captain Riku set the Soup on the desk and pulled out the chair for Sora to sit. Sora slowly walked over to Riku and sat down saying a small “Thank You” Riku just nodded his head and walked over to the bed admiring Sora's small feminine back.

Sora: ...
Axel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kairi: We're almost done if it's any consolation.
Sora: ::gives Kairi a brief smile:: Thanks.
Axel: Awww, look at the beautiful canon.

“When me and my crew where heading back to the ship we bumped into something I looked over to see if we hit a rock but instead I found you” Captain Riku said as he stared at Sora's back. “So I brought you back with was you where freezing and wet so I undressed you and covered you” said Riku.

Kairi: You know, I'm surprised he didn't undress and lie with you. You know, that whole "warm you with body heat" thing.
Riku: I'm not supposed to hit girls, Kairi...

Sora blushed and choked on his soup. A small “Oh” was heard from Sora. Riku smiled slightly. Sora turned around to look at Riku and they both stared into each others eyes for quite some time.

“Do you mind telling me what you where doing out there?” Riku sort of demanded he couldn't help it, it was in his blood. But Sora was used to that treatment his father was a king after all though instead of answering politely Sora mocked him. “Only if you tell me who you are”.

Sora: Didn't we just do this? We just did this.
Axel: You've watched Ella Enchanted?
Sora: ...no. But, obviously you have. ::snarky laugh:: And you call me effeminate?
Axel: ::bristles::

In return Riku's eyes sharpened and a smirk was placed on his lips making Sora shiver. “Like I told you Capitan Riku...If you want to know more there is no luck” was Riku's smart ass reply. That only made Sora huff he was always up for a challenge and was he sure going to break Riku!

Sora: I... I blame the perverted thoughts I'm currently mentally processing on Roxas, because he just has to be more perverted than me. Just has to be. There's no other explanation. Oh, forget it. ::beats head on wall:: GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT.

Both of them stood at the same time only knowing each others name. Both took steps to one another determined to know more. Riku and Sora circled each other shoulders touching staring in each other eyes with a passion. Sora began to back off afraid of his actions but Riku only smirked and pushed him up against the wall.

Riku: Do we have anymore of those barf bags?
Kairi: It could be worse...
Riku: Kairi. Please. I don't normally hit girls.

Both where unaware of each others seductive actions

Axel: Because God knows shoulder-circling sure sounds seductive. Hey, an alliteration! Go me!

and the effect it had on one another. By now there noses where touching Riku could hear Sora's breathing coming in raped breaths.

Axel: And his breathing won't be all that's raped in a few minutes...
Riku and Sora: ::unleash a four-hoof beat down on Axel's head::

Riku took Sora's hands in his and slid them up the wall while there bodies touched. Captain Riku's face came so close to Sora's that there lips touched. Sora didn't know what to think all he knew was it felt good soft and tingly it was his first kiss after all.

Sora: No, in fact I do know what to think.
Kairi: What?
Sora: Murderous thoughts...

::credits role and the screen goes black. Sora and Riku immediately hop up and bolt out of the theatre, leaving Kairi and Axel behind. Spying a pile of papers on the table before them, Kairi looked at them curiously::

Kairi: Wait... are these scripts?
Axel: Does this mean... we could choose?
Kairi: We could just choose something that's not bad!
Axel: ::picks up a random script:: Erm... not this one.
Kairi: Why not?
Axel: It's... uh... it's an Axel/Kairi noncon.
Kairi: Oh, hell, no. ::runs out of theatre::
Axel: Ah, the joys of being a Nobody. ::summons a portal::
Tags: kingdom hearts, spork
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 0 comments